Bittersweet.

The past week or so I have been looking forward to Summer Project coming to an end. This experience has been challenging, rewarding, fun, growing, exhausting, and encouraging. When we first got here, Michael said we should drive over the bridge to leave Ocean City on July 2nd thinking "I'm exhausted, but I would do it again". I definitely feel this is true for me. I hate that a part of me is ready to go, but I am thankful that being ready for a season of life to end usually means less nostalgia for me.

Well, that was a nice thought for last week. As of yesterday, I'm a little more hesitant to leave.

Yesterday we had Mens/Womens Day. The men enjoyed their day full of steak, sports, competition, and talking about being responsible men who reject passivity and lead courageously. The women, on the other hand, stayed at the house =] Our day was full of painting nails, tie-dye, leg wrestling, making friendship bracelets, eating watermelon, and talking about the love God has for us and how He wants to know us intimately. So good.

The women have been learning about the Hebrew word yada; "to know, to be known, and to be deeply respected". Yada is the type of knowing and intimacy that we all yearn for; the type that we should experience with God. Yada is the deep knowing, intimacy, and love a husband and wife have - the type that is exclusive to marriage. The same word is used in scripture to describe the intimacy with God and in marriage.


The second half of Womens Day was spent at Stevenson UMC. I've talked about Stevenson's love for us before, but I just can't stress it enough. Stevenson loves us. When we arrived we were greeted with hugs and lead to a seat with water, salad, and a full menu displayed on each table. The men of the church cooked a homemade meal for us (sweet potato casserole, fried chicken, crab cakes, sweet potato rolls, cornpone, succotash, chocolate smith island cake, banana smith island cake, and strawberry smith island cake) and the women of the church served it to us. How sweet are they?! We were blown away.
We were then lead into the sanctuary where the women of the church washed the directors feet (Carol and Chrissi), who then washed the staffs feet (Amy, Diana, Tara, Me, Steph, Kirstin), who then washed the students feet. It was their way of serving us and our way of serving our students, just as Jesus served the disciples when He washed their feet (John 13:1-17). After each girl was called up and her feet were washed, we prayed over them and gave them a bracelet that says yada and told them to never forget that God knows you intimately and loves you passionately. The day ended with prayers, tears, communion, and pictures.
All of the women of OCMDSP11 =]

My girls! Love them! Alaina in purple, Emma in floral, Callie squeezing me, and Brooke in brown =] I have loved getting to know them and have already seen God do great things IN and THROUGH each of them. I'm excited for what else He has in store for these wonderful women, but sad that I won't be able to be here to see more of it! Keep them in your prayers, please =]
Darby Girls!! (My roommates) I'll miss living with them and just hanging out in silence...doesn't sound fun, but I love that we're all introverted and are able to recharge in that way!


Other things going on in OC?

On Friday night we had baptisms! Several students and staff decided to be baptized as a outward confession of an inward change. They each shared a little about why they wanted to publicly declare their faith in Jesus Christ and then got baptized in the ocean! So cool. Here's a picture of Michael and Roy saving Kelsey from the massive wave that struck them on their way out there!


I have been learning how to play guitar! Wohoo! The painful process of learning to play guitar is beginning to pay off! My calluses are beginning to form, meaning it isn't hurting as much when I play. So far I know Revelation Song and Mighty To Save (kinda), but hopefully more to come!


Staff children. Aren't they cute?! Here's Jake, Maddie, and Morgan. I'll miss them.
- The tickling, constant questions, and being told "tell the truth" by little Maddie.
- Jake's constant smile and little chuckle.
- Morgan's dance moves and speed reading.
- Abby and Rachel (not pictured) always willing to help, their fun personalities, and their maturity.

The Final Countdown

Days left in Ocean City? 12. Wow. I know I've said it a million times, but time FLIES! Ah!

Blogging this summer has been a little more difficult for me than last summer due to the things that are really going on in OC. Last summer was full of various content and it was almost like "drinking from a fire hose". Each day we were learning new things about God, the ministry of Jesus, the Bible, how to live out our faith, and processing through what God was doing in our lives personally. Most of what we were hearing was about who God is, ways to apply scripture, or life lessons....things that could be applicable for the entire group and for any stage of life.

Because of my different role on project, my days look very different this summer than they did last year. Each morning starts off with staff meeting; prayer, Bible study, team building, lessons on different tools/resources, etc. The rest of the day we meet with our students for "appointments", or discipleship meetings, where we go out and share our faith, talk about how things are going on project, process through what God is doing in their hearts, and go over various content. After taking time to plan and meet with the students, it somehow ends up being 5:30 in the blink of an eye. That leaves 6-9ish for whatever activity is that night, and then some time to build relationships with students (if you're not exhausted and in need of some alone time!).

So I'M SORRY that blogging isn't as exciting or detailed, but I'm not able to share a lot of the stuff going on here (the potential leaders, conflict, what goes on in discipleship)....and my alone time with God? That's private, too :) But know that God is doing big things in Ocean City and in the hearts of the students here.

It has been so amazing to see people experience the true freedom we have in Christ &
God is empowering people to take steps of faith and to take risks
&
Students are stepping into leadership and finally seeing and believing that they have tons of potential

THANK YOU for your prayers and support!! Please pray for the staff to have guidance this week in who to have as leaders for the second half of project. We need to know by THURSDAY, so this week will consist of a lot of prayer and discussion of who has potential, who is already leading, and who will continue to lead the students when the staff hand over the project in just a little over a week.

Take a Look :)

Here's a few shots from this past week or so on project....enjoy! :)


This shot was taken (by somebody peeking while praying!) after our outreach on Saturday. In less than two weeks, five people have made decisions to have a personal relationship with God! Incredible.


Tuesday night we had our first Bible study :) So good. After making friendship bracelets, catching up, and studying Jonah 1, we decided to plan a surprise birthday party for Casey. You can't throw a surprise party without anything to celebrate with, so we used what we had available :) We found a bucket of popcorn, markers, glitter, and some string. Perfect. Here's a look at our masterpiece; a birthday boy bucket hat with an "IOU 1 BIRTHDAY COOKOUT" note. :)


Little sneak peak at Family Night. "Don't be a hollow chocolate bunny" - a bunny that crumbles once you poke it..because you will be poked.


The staff making dinner for everyone on Thursday night! Tara, Diana, and Jon


Here's an image from Women's Time on Thursday night! We anonymously wrote down lies we believed on one side and then replaced each lie with truth, from scripture, on the other side. It was really heartbreaking to walk around and read some of the lies people believe, but so amazing to become aware of them and to be able to replace them with truth.


Friday was Staff Fun Day! Carol is a strong believer in having some fun and relaxing bonding time in order to keep the staff team healthy. This week? A minor league baseball game. It was so fun! Here is a photo of me, Tara, Amy, Diana, Steph, and Kirstin.



Saturday's we have a long day of outreach and housecleaning followed by a community event. This week we went to Assateague Island, AKA "Pony Island". These two photos are of me and Karen doing trust falls :) It is such a great time of bonding with everyone, especially the students who aren't directly involved in any of your groups.


This last photo was also from last night :) We ended the night with worship on the beach. It is so refreshing to sing songs about our Creator while looking out onto the beautiful things He created.

Less than 3 weeks left in OC! Continue to pray for open hearts, boldness, and a strong community. Thanks so much!!

3 weeks down, 3 to go!

Um, is this real?! My time spent in OC this summer is half way over? Already?? Wow. Time sure does fly.

This past week was week #2 for the students - the week the real schedule begins, work starts for some, job hunting continues for others, and "appointments" with Bible study leaders become a weekly thing. This is the week when students are really thrown into the busyness of the fast paced summer project schedule. For staff, this begins the schedule of 9am staff meetings every morning, meeting with students whenever they have a second to breathe, and leading Bible study and ministry teams. This week we really set the pace for the rest of project and lead by example. Whew! It's been a long, busy, fun, somewhat stressful, challenging, and eye-opening week, but I am ready for Friday! Friday = day off. Fridays are even better now than they were in high school. Fridays are a day of rest, reflection, and rejuvenation. (thought I would stick with the "r" thing)

This Friday (TODAY!) my mom comes :) My mom and her great friend, Maxine, love to take road trips together. They are two grandmothers who look, act, and feel like they are in their twenties! I genuinely have so much fun hanging out with them and look forward to spending the day with them today. Last year when I was in Ocean City, my mom and Max would make a trip here just about every other week!! They love road trips, the beach, junk food on the boardwalk, and each other. So today I will join in on the fun they have together and live it up in OCMD. I'm sure we'll eat tons of food, walk the boardwalk like we're tourists, and sit at the beach for hours.

Now to actually update you on week 2!
Sundays are great. We really do reserve it as our day of rest; our sabbath. Sunday morning our life group headed to the adorable town of Berlin, MD for church. After the later service there was a cookout at a nearby park that we were planning to go to, so we decided to kill some time by walking around Berlin. I had my heart set on a really cute coffee shop I had discovered the week before, which is typically appealing to college students who love coffee. Yes, I sadly fall into this category. One of my favorite parts of this coffee shop is that everything is ALL NATURAL! I don't really know what that means when it comes to the ice cream (coffee ice cream with chocolate covered espresso beans...oh my goodness) but I do know that it's delicious and gives me a false sense of it being good for me. Anyway, we got some great all natural coffee, ice cream, and smoothies and then headed to the park! I've said it before, and I'll say it again, the church we go to has a community that LOVES Cru students. They are just so so so sweet and take us in as if we're their own children. We spent a few hours getting to know our new church community, eating a LOT of delicious home cooked food, and indulging in delicious desserts they provided. Our church spoils us.

Monday nights Jon leads TNT (Teaching aNd Training). During this time we are going over a really helpful tool used by Cru called CoJourners. The students loved it this week! The material is really challenging and leaves you with many "aha!" moments, and Jon adds a lot of character and personality to anything and everything he does. His sense of humor instantly grabs the audiences attention. After that the men have men's time and the women go to reflection. Reflection is just two hours of silence - you and God. It is so vital and so refreshing.

Tuesday nights we have Bible study and ministry team planning. Bible study was awesome - God has provided some great girls to be in my group and I am so thankful for that. We made friendship bracelets (it's kind of cheesy, but they all said they love girly crafts and I can't deny my love for them, either), talked about our highlights so far, and studied the book of Jonah. Jonah is so much more than a Sunday school story, it's a book that shows us so much of God's character. The book starts with "The word of the Lord came to Jonah"....THE WORD OF THE LORD CAME TO JONAH. How awesome is that?! He comes to us...He isn't a passive, hidden, secretive God. He comes to us. We also see that God is patient, provides, doesn't NEED us to bring people to Him, is in control of everything, and is compassionate. After Bible study we have ministry team planning, which means planning Family Night for my team. Family Night is on Wednesday nights, so we have a lot to plan in less than 24 hours! It was a little hectic planning this week, but hey, now is the time to fail and lessons can come from that.

Wednesday night we have dinner with life groups and Family Night. Long story short, nothing went as we planned this week at Family Night....and it was so good. Through the last minute technical difficulties and many other unexpected things that happened between 7:15 and 7:30 (when we start), our team bonded and showed grace, love, and compassion to one another. It was beautiful. It's not about how we plan an hour and a half long period of time. The night isn't about the "flow", us, the worship, the slides, the intro game...it's about the message and how God uses it to speak to each of us individually.

Thursday night is working dinner and women's time/men's reflection time. Working dinner consists of the staff team making dinner for everyone and then the students discussing questions on different topics that they could bring back to campus. After that, the women went upstairs and had women's time. We discussed the lies women believe and replaced them with TRUTH. It was definitely powerful and good for us to identify areas that we are believing lies and are too hard on ourselves. We wrapped up the night with a great game of "prisoner", which is a more violent form of volleyball/dodgeball/capture the flag. It was so fun, but I'm definitely feeling it today haha.

This week I met with each of the girls in my Bible study - Alaina, Emma, Brooke, and Callie. My one on one time with each of them is so different and so good. This week we mostly just processed through a bit of what has been going on and talked about how they are feeling with so much going on. I love how honest they can be and how I learn so much through them. I'm excited to see how God will work in each of their lives this summer and how He will continue to teach them. They each have already learned so much about themselves and God. So cool.

Sorry for another long post :) I will probably continue to just post once a week and give a little summary of how things are going in OC! Thank you all for your support!!

Pictures!!!

This is just a post of some photos that show a bit of everything I'm describing....enjoy! :)
Here is our room for 5 weeks :) Tara, my new roommate, and I share an apartment with Amy and Diana. All of us are social butterflies but need to come back early to have some time to ourselves. It's not uncommon to walk in at 9pm and find us sitting in the same room, in absolute silence, doing our own separate things. I love that we are all wired similarly when it comes to that and that we never feel the pressure to entertain each other.

This is the beautiful sunset from Assateague Island! Here's a shot I took when the staff had a cookout on the island a couple nights before the students came. It was so beautiful!

These are the great girls in my Bible study this summer :) :) Each of them are so different - but they're all so fun, sweet, and eager to know more of God's character. Meet Callie, Brooke, Alaina, and Emma! [bottom left to right - Emma is peeping through the top with me :) ]

This is a terrible shot of our Life Group (the group we go to Stevenson United Methodist Church with). Jon and I are in the front, leading the group to "The Awesome" to feed them dinner! The students in our group are Jason, Rebecca, Mike, Natalie, Emma, Kelsey, Jake, and Brittany.

This is a photo from our Family Night skit we performed at the cookout. Meet Rachel, Casey, Bailee, and Karen!
(To the tune of "The Brady Bunch")
At Family Night!
At Family Night!
We will praise Jesus Christ at Family Night!!

Finally, meet the staff team. Scary to think we are leading students on a mission trip, right?? Saturday night we dressed up on the boardwalk and the students searched for us. Somehow we kind of blended in on the Ocean City boardwalk.

Week 1

The students have arrived!!!!!! :) It is so much fun finally having the students here. The schedule has picked up, relationships are beginning to form, and Michael's challenging talks have returned. This is going to be good.

Tuesday morning was an early one, and a morning full of EXCITEMENT! There are very few nights I have trouble sleeping, so I must have been even more excited than I thought since I woke up at 6:45am ready to start the day. I knew the day would be full of welcoming students, helping them move in, and showing them a glimpse of life on summer project. They settled in and met on the porch of The 3 Jacks at 5. To their surprise, it was time to go sharing. A huge part of summer project is sharing your faith, so each year project starts off with exactly that. Why not do it early and get rid of any nervousness?! The night continued with dinner at the church, fun games to get to know each other, and worship on the beach.

Wednesday = JOB HUNT! After the students spent hours searching for jobs, Bible studies met for dinner :) It was fun getting to hang out with the girls a bit more and to hear about how their job searches are going. Please continue to pray for jobs for the students...about half of them are still unemployed. After dinner Michael gave a talk and we all went on the boardwalk with our Life Groups (group you go to church with) to pray for the rest of the summer.

Thursday = JOB HUNT - Round 2! Jon (the other staff assigned to our church) and I started making dinner for the students around 5 :) Frozen lasagna, salad in a bag, and frozen garlic bread...we're chefs. Our Life Group hung out for a bit, ate dinner, and headed to the church to choose ministry teams! Each student had the opportunity to choose which team to serve on this summer - Community, Family Night (weekly meeting), Prayer, Outreach, and International Student Ministry. I am leading the Family Night Team this summer :) I was excited to welcome Rachel, Bailee, Casey, and Karen to the team! They each have such creative ideas for the weekly meeting and I am excited to see them put into action this summer.

Friday was what I had been looking forward to all week - life stories. Each Bible study spent the day together going over significant things that had happened in their lives up until this point. It's a good way to get to know someone quickly and gain a better understanding of why they are how they are today. Not only is this helpful to gain trust and get to know each other better, but it also helps the Bible study leader know what content to go over in the one-on-one meetings with the students. After spending bits of our day at the bay, the beach, my apartment, and an adorable coffeeshop in Berlin, we headed to the park where we would meet up with the rest of the group :) We finished the night off with a cookout and presentations from each ministry team. My ministry team, The Family Night Team, did a remake of "The Brady Bunch" in order to inform the rest of the project of our values and goals. So fun.

Today was long! The staff women woke up early to make breakfast for the students. We greeted the 19 beautiful women with delicious "heavenly pancakes", eggs, bacon, coffee, OJ, and milk...mmm! Women's breakfast = awesome...always. Each staff woman gave a mini introduction and we wrapped it all up with each of us praying for 2 or 3 girls. Then there was outreach training, outreach, debrief, and getting ready for the "social". Little did the students know, our event tonight was a staff hunt on the boardwalk. Each of the staff dressed in disguise and hid on the boardwalk! The students had to approach us and ask "are you pregnant?" and we would tell them a word from a verse. Once they found all of us they could piece the words together and find Psalm 119:128 Therefore I consider all your precepts to be right; I hate every false way.. That was their ticket into the party tonight - which consisted of chips, cookies, and a whole lot of fun games!

The past two weeks have been busy and I am starting to feel it.....good thing tomorrow is the Sabbath and I will have time to REST. Thank you for all of your support!!!! If you want to write letters :)

503 N. Philadelphia Ave
Ocean City, MD 21842

Ready. Set. GO!

I have now spent 6 long days in Ocean City, Maryland. I'm right back to where I was last year - unable to understand how "time moves differently on the island". It's so true!!!!! Days have been LONG but somehow it's 11pm before I know it. I've been here since Monday, but it feels like I just got here two days ago....but at the same time it feels like I've been here for a month. Where does time go?! Enough about the confusion of time and how it flies - now moving onto what has been going on during that time!

Each morning we have had breakfast at 8:30am, a devotional (consisting of worship, breaking down scripture, applying it to how we can play it out this summer, and specific prayer for various things the students have/are/will encounter), quiet time alone with God, various content, lunch, year maps, etc. BUSY!!! But it's great. I have been learning so much about why we do what we do and the meaning behind each activity the students take part in. Though I have loved getting everything ready, the anticipation is beginning to kill me. Is it time for everyone else to get here yet?!?! We have also spent a ton of time cleaning up the house and preparing it for the students arrival. It's pretty draining and gross at times, but seeing the progress makes it so worth it. The 3 Jacks is almost ready for the students to come on Tuesday! I can't wait.

One of the highlights for me has been finding out my Bible study, Life Group (the group that goes to church), and Ministry Team. The girls that I will be discipling (the same girls from the Bible study) are Emma, Alaina, Callie, and Brooke. Please pray for our Bible study and for the girls individually. I am so excited to officially meet them and to spend 5 weeks with them! :)
This year, just like last, I will be going to Stevenson United Methodist Church (featured in Runaway Bride, no big deal). Stevenson is a church full of people who LOVE the Cru students that come every summer. They look forward to it and strive to serve us in any and every way. I am excited to go back there tomorrow morning and for the rest of the time I am here :)
Last year I was on the Family Night Team; the team that plans the weekly meeting. I am really excited to lead the Family Night Team this year because that will be my position back at school. I hope that through leading the weekly meeting this year I will gain experience and develop new ideas for the weekly meetings back at CNU.

Today we moved into the staff housing. I feel so spoiled! Air conditioning, cable, no bunk beds, a thick mattress, only one roommate, two bathrooms, a mirror....oh, the little things. It is so nice to finally be settled and to be able to unpack, grocery shop, and know where all of my belongings are. Another plus is that the Freys and the Bakers are in the same building as us and they have some ADORABLE children!!! The kids love to come up the stairs and just walk right in as if they own the place...so cute. Carol says the kids think we're here for them, and I am beginning to think there is some truth behind that....

I will try to post before the end of next week! The students come Tuesday so pray for safe travels, teachable hearts, and EXCITEMENT for what God will do this summer. Thank you all so much!!

And So It Begins!

OCMD Round 2. Oh, yes.

I am currently sitting on the porch of The 3 Jacks (the house the students live in and the staff stay in for the first week). I almost forgot about how noisy it is being right next to the busy road! It never seems to be quiet around here. :)

Ben and I had planned to start our journey by leaving my house around 8am Monday morning. Our plan was to meet up, grab some breakfast, and hit the road for OCMD! Ben is my good friend from CNU who is also interning in OCMD this summer (read his blog for a different perspective on life over here! http://ocmd2011.tumblr.com/ ). I was so excited when I found out Ben would be joining the staff team in Ocean City this year! He is so fun - loves to joke around, knows how far is too far, and has a contagious smile. Most importantly, Ben is a great example of a biblical man. I just know the guys will absolutely love him! Anyway, back to Monday morning.....as soon as he got to my house, he wanted to go on a walk to pray for the project and safe travels. What a great way to start off the trip and what a great way to take leadership before even arriving in MD.

As we finished turning the corner into my cul-de-sac and I asked Ben where we were going for breakfast, he pointed to the car driving up behind us. I didn't recognize the car, which is uncommon to see an unfamiliar vehicle in our small cul-de-sac that's tucked away off of the main road. Little did I know, Ben and a few of my friends had planned to come over and serve us breakfast. HOW SWEET IS THAT?!?! I am so blessed. Sarah, Sally, and Bree arrived with chocolate chip pancakes, eggs, bacon, fruit, coffee (with three different flavored creamers), orange juice, and milk. I felt so spoiled, blessed, and thankful. They prayed for our trip and headed out! What a selfless act.

I have never really caravanned before, so it was fun for me to travel alongside Ben! I felt safe on the road knowing that someone was near me and wouldn't try to cut me off or anything hahahh :) So we arrived to our destination around 1:30. I immediately felt comfort by the smell of the 3 Jacks. Weird, I know....but it's so familiar! It feels like I never left. Shortly after greeting Michael the other staff arrived. All of us seemed to get here within an hour or so of each other....what great timing is that?! So we hung out, made connections, and began to form bonds. So fun! The rest of the day was filled with many things, such as
- a hunt on the boardwalk for hermit crabs for the Baker's girls (named Shelly and Colorful..how cute!)
- a delicious dinner cooked by the Bakers and the Freys (yummy tacos and chocolate covered strawberries)
- a look at our binders (the schedule for the week, the orientation week for students, a typical week, and a ton of resources)
- Michael and Carol's year map - a map of big parts of their year to kinda catch us up on where they're coming from
- the boys playing games outside while the girls sit inside and chat :)

Today has been filled with content....and that will continue tonight and for the rest of the week. I found out who the girls I will disciple and have in my Bible study are!!!!!!! I'm so excited. I won't share specific names just yet in case any of them read this :) But please be praying for our Bible study and their final week at home before coming here. Today we also got to hear Roy and Chrissi's year map :) The other staff will share their year maps tonight and tomorrow, so that should be enjoyable.

HUGE prayer request - for the students to not get nervous and to continue to be excited for what the summer has in store

More to come later this week :)

Here We Go!

I will be leaving for Ocean City in less than 24 hours! Wow.

I feel like I have been so busy lately and May 23rd just snuck up on me!! It's hard to believe that something I have been talking about since January is now so soon! Oh, how time flies. So exciting!! Well with 17 hours left, there is still a lot to do. Now to packing..... :)

Here's my address for the time I will be in Ocean City -

Jenna Wall
Campus Crusade for Christ
503 N. Philadelphia Ave.
Ocean City, MD 21842

Expect another blog later this week :) Keep our team in your prayers, please!

100%

...and then some.

I'm so stubborn.
God is sovereign and proves it to me time after time, yet I somehow still feel the need to stress, plan, and play "what if" with myself.

Finals week I decided to not check my mailbox until Friday, in hopes of that simple action calming my nerves when it came to support raising. In many ways, I was fasting from checking my mail! Sounds silly, I know. Each time that temptation to check my mail snuck up (which was even more difficult when I was working in the mailroom) I had to pray for strength to not slip my little key in box #3456. Tougher than it may sound.

Friday, April 29th I got to experience the thrill of checking my mail for the first time in a week. I took a little detour on the way to work so that I could make a stop at my box. I fumbled for my key, turned it clockwise, and peeked in the little opening.....there were envelopes!!! In the seconds it takes to grab them and read the address line, I reminded myself that even if they weren't support, it would be ok. God is still good.

One was an Easter card from my mom :)
The other was a check.
Two hours later, I was told about two more checks being sent my way.
Later that day, another person said they would write me a check -
getting me to 100%.
After signing into MPD (a really helpful tool Cru uses for support raising), I clicked on "donations" and found an online donation from a month ago.
wow.
WOW.
WOW!!

I am so thankful for all of the support - both financially and through prayer. I'm blown away!! Thank you to everyone who is helping reach others in OCMD. Thank you God for calling me to go and providing what it takes to get there. Thank you Jesus for giving us a message to share.

Please continue to pray for financial support for the students and staff. It's crunch time! The perfect time for doubts and lies to creep in. Please also pray for the unity of the project.

Countdown: 17 days.
It's all beginning to play though my head - beautiful sunsets on the beach, the comfort of the 3 Jacks, great conversations, the love from the community at Stevenson, the busy schedule that I somehow love, the stuff God brings up that challenges you in ways you least expect...the list could go on forever....

Provision

noun
1 - the providing or supplying of something, especially of food or other necessities.
2 - arrangement or preparation beforehand, as for the doing of something, the meeting of needs, the supplying of means, etc.
3 - something provided; a measure or other means for meeting a need.
[ dictionary.com ]

Everything was seeming to be "not enough" as May 23rd was creeping up. Two weeks ago, there were not enough guys, not enough staff, and not enough checks in (according to my time frame). With 21 girls and just 3 guys, how would the project be affected? How was the smallest staff team going to handle the largest group of women? How would my bank account look if I had to pay to go to OC? I was a little concerned. Typical Jenna.

In one week, the number of male students went from 3 to 13. What?!?!
In one week, staff went from 10 to 13. (YESSSS!)
In one week, checks came in at unexpected times and from unexpected people...now I'm at 70%.

He provides exactly enough. He provides exactly what we need. He provides.

I saw all of this after I let go. Funny how that happens, right?! So I will continue to sit back and watch God provide. Please join me in praying for everyone to "let go" when it comes to raising support; to allow God to provide in His timing and to remember He has prepared this all beforehand. To know and to believe He provides.

Thanks so much for your prayers and support...I am so excited to see what God will do in OCMD this summer!! I know it will be greater than I can even begin to imagine. More to come as God continues to PROVIDE. =]

Type A

Type A - of or pertaining to a pattern of behavior characterized by competitiveness, a sense of urgency, impatience, perfectionism, and assertiveness
[dictionary.com]

Sense of urgency - always.
Impatience - yes.
Perfectionism - at times.

This time of year it's easier than ever to see my tendency to be "type a". I plan my days by the hour, write things in my calendar that are months away, make to-do lists that include ridiculous details, and look forward to things that aren't even guaranteed to happen. Just like many other college students, my mind is no longer on school. The blinders have been put on and my excitement for summer to begin is taking over. Some may call it good planning, while others may call it being "type a". Either way you look at it, I am failing to be content with where I'm at. Living in the present is always a problem for me - I love to plan (which makes NOT looking ahead difficult), my sense of urgency is out of this world, and I just get so EXCITED for what lies ahead! The problem with this is that I begin to wish time away, plan my life (as if it's mine to plan), and over think. Ohhh the downfalls of always being so excited....

So here I am - planning my work schedule between finals and graduation, planning my last week between graduation and OC, planning the fun things I can do with my girls in OC, planning what to bring to OC, planning what to do after OC until school begins, planning when I'll move into our new house, planning my classes for next semester, planning my financial aid for my last year of school, and planning what Cru will look like at CNU next year. WOW. Can you say "O you of little faith"? I plan as if things won't work out if I don't. I plan as if my plans are guaranteed. I plan as if it's all about ME.

According to my plan, 50% of support would already be in for this summer. But it's not. Does that change God's provision? No. Does that change my excitement? No. Does that change the plan God has for me being in OC? No. But it does change one thing - it changes my faith in Jenna. It changes my faith in my own plans working out. So I'm letting go.


Matthew 6: 25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So now I try to not worry, not plan, and not wish time away....I want to take each day as it comes.


-A Tree Full of Angels, Macrina Wiederkehr
We stand in the midst of nourishment and we starve. We dwell in the land of plenty, yet we persist in going hungry. Not only do we dwell in the land of plenty; we have the capacity to be filled with the utter fullness of God (Eph. 3:16-19). In the light of such possibility, what happens? Why do we drag our hearts? Lock up our souls? Why do we limp? Why do we straddle issues? Why do we live feebly, so dimly? Why aren't we saints?
Each of us could come up with individual answers to all of these questions, but I want to suggest here a common cause. The reason we live life so dimly and with such divided hearts is that we have never really learned how to be present with quality to God, to self, to others, to experiences and events, to all created things. We have never learned to gather up the crumbs of whatever appears in our path at every moment. We meet all of these lovely gifts only half there. Presence is what we are all starving for. Real presence! We are too busy to be present, too blind to see the nourishment and salvation in the crumbs of life, the experiences of each moment. Yet the secret of daily life is this: there are no leftovers. There is nothing - no thing, no person, no experience, no thought, no joy or pain - that cannot be harvested and used for nourishment on our journey to God. What I am suggesting here is that everything in your life is a stepping-stone to holiness if only you recognize that you do have within you the grace to be present to each moment. Your presence is an energy that you can choose to give or not give. Every experience, every thought, every word, every person in your life is a part of a larger picture of your growth. That's why I call them crumbs. They are not the whole loaf, but they can be nourishing if you give them your real presence. Let everything energize you. Let everything bless you. Even your limping can bless you.

So let's start collecting crumbs - collecting the experiences of each moment that brings nourishment to our souls.

OCMD - Round 2!

For nearly 7 months I have been thinking, praying, planning, worrying, rejoicing, and wondering about whether or not I would return to Ocean City, MD as a student-intern this coming summer. Throughout the process I have felt confident in that being the Lords plan for me, but have also had my days where I have felt that I was living in a dream world. Shortly after Radiate, Carol (the associate project director) and I began discussing my plans for the upcoming summer. As I wrestled with my desire to be in Ocean City and my responsibility as a student, it began to not look so promising. I was under the impression that I had to be in Newport News taking classes this summer and that anything but school was out of the question for Summer 2011. After talking with my advisor and the head of the department I was informed that there were other ways to go about getting my classes completed before May 2012. Praise.the.Lord.

On February 25th, 2011 I received an email from Michael Frey notifying me that I had been accepted as a student-intern. So here begins another journey on the beaches of Ocean City, MD - another summer full of the 3 Jacks, worship on the beach, lunches with life groups, discipleship, Bible study, the Darby, the bay, Assateague, family night, women's time, Atlantic, laundromats, Panera, Pastor Ayers, WaWa, the Frey's, the Baker's, lifelong friendships, and most importantly - intimacy with God. I am excited for the new challenges that this summer will bring, though I question my capability. But hey, I am incapable. I know that there is no way I could do this on my own, but our gracious God has called me to this position and will equip me for the role. How exciting!!!!

Support letters have been sent out, the deposit has been mailed, and now I just wait...wait for God to provide and blow my mind once again. Please join me in praying for the students of OCMDSP 2011 - for them to trust God every step of the way, watch patiently as He provides, and accept new challenges presented to them during, before, and after project. I could use some prayer as well :) that I may rely on the Spirit every step of the way and be a humble servant leader.